Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
