ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
