In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
