It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
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