that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
