dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
