That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
