On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
