Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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