dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
