OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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