Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
