i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
you traded sex for a burrito?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
