he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
