whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
