a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Randomize
