His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
