It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
