i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
