I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
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