Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
