Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
