I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
