i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
