areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
