Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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