Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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