omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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