I want to make a zoo with you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
