I understand Curling. That high.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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