You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
