god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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