I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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