Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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