Is it normal to miss your booty call?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
