Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I think we might need a safe word for this...
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
