there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
