ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
