What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize