my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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