whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I need to stop coming to work sober
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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