I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
