just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
