Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What a dumb baby whore.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
