You're so nebulous sometimes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I need water and some morals
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
