She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
