I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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