i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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