remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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