My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
