...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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