My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
