i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
