So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
