I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
